...sparkles and sunshine

: soostentatious; November 10th, 10:09

Current Location:: Open Lab

Current Music:: None...I need earphones badly.

If you were close to death, what would you choose for your last words? To whom would you want to say them?

I would want to tell my family that I loved them very much, and I would want to tell Pierce that I am sorry for all of the trouble that I have caused him and that I also love him very much.

Tags: famous last words, writer's block

Whew!

: soostentatious; November 9th, 20:03

Today has been a lot of work, and it won't be getting better for a while. So much to do as the semester winds down. There are roughly 20 more class days! 20 days and I will be in my second semester of college. It's terrifying. I love the idea of moving on with my life, but i'm scared too. I just want to skip to grown up, preferably with a huge down payment for a new house, and a husband. But alas, I have 115 more hours before I could ever consider something like that. Oh well. For now, instead of spending my nights playing house wife, I can play struggling student. :/

5:55 wake up call to schedule classes.

...just a thought or two

: soostentatious; November 9th, 14:52

Current Location:: Quiet Zone:CSU

Current Mood:: contemplative

Current Music:: none

Sometimes I am so unbelievably self destructive that I scare myself. It's like I can't fight the urge to put myself in situations where I am set up to fail. I want to want to change. That's the problem. Its not that I want to change, I just want to, want to change. Complicated idea? No. But it's the truth. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Writer's Block: My Favorite Apps

: soostentatious; November 6th, 12:42

Current Location:: HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Music:: None...Pierce has the zune.

What are your favorite web or mobile apps? Which ones do you use everyday?

Sponsored by Yahoo!

View 119 Answers

Facebook and AIM on my cell. It helps to make sure that I catch the important stuff. I like all of the google apps as well. :)

Tags: favorite apps, my yahoo, writer's block, yahoo

Writer's Block: Change is good

: soostentatious; November 4th, 8:37

Current Location:: CSU Library

Current Mood:: contemplative

Current Music:: None...left my headphones in the dorm.

If you could change one major thing about your life, whether a relationship, your job, your living situation, your school, etc., what would it be? Are you currently working toward a serious life transition?

View 1279 Answers

At first I had a lot things that I would want to change in my life, but I realize as I keep thinking about this question that if I was to change these things I would not be the person I am today, nor would the relationships I have with people be the same. With all that said, I do wish that I hadn't gone through that stage where I felt as though I had to be mean to people to show them that I was strong. During that process I had hurt a lot of people that I love, and I don't think that they have ever forgiven me for it. That's the one thing that I wish I could have known already. Or at least have figured out before I severed relationships.

Right now I am currently working on a life overhaul. I'm cleaning house emotionally, and seeking out closure that I have ignored for too long. I know that it's selfish of me to be treating people like I am right now, but I have to for my own sanity. The 'what if' questions are killing me. I know it hurts but I don't know how else to make things right. There are times in life when you need a friend, and not a lover to help you through tough times, and I hope he understands that I'm not doing this because I don't love him, but that I am doing this because I love myself. As selfish as it sounds I have to be happy, and right now I'm doing what makes me happy, even if it makes him sad.

Tags: breaking up, change, happiness, long-term goals, love, writer's block

The end is near...

: soostentatious; November 3rd, 18:27

Current Location:: Dorm

Current Mood:: depressed

I am more broken hearted right now then words could ever express. Almost 21 months of work has fallen apart. The sad part is that I think that this is probably the way it should be. You may not want to lose me, but you already have. You lost me weeks ago. It's just all coming to light.

Tags: breaking up, depression, lost love, sad

I'm late, I'm late

: soostentatious; November 3rd, 13:42

Current Location:: CSU Library

Current Mood:: aggravated

Current Music:: Rain - Mika

Everything has been pretty crazy. I feel like the more work I do the further behind I seem to be. How is it that I've been in the library for almost three hours, working consistantly and I have barely put a dent into my work. Its so unbelievably frustrating. I feel like I am always rushing to get something done, no matter how much I do. College is really killing my spirit. I don't know how some people do it. I could never keep up a social life and make good grades. I hate feeling like I have to choose.

Things are getting better with Pierce, still awkward at time, but better. This is the first time in a long time that I ever honestly thought he might break up with me. Its quite scary. Part of me wants to beg for things to be like they used to be, but its not practical to hope that someone never changes. He's growing up, and I need to as well. I just wish I could still see him as my knight in shining armor, who would never hurt me in any way. I know that he didn't mean that stuff he posted but it's still scary. I talk about thinking that other people are attractive, but I say it out loud and let him know. He just hides it, and tells me that he doesn't think that anyone is attractive. I know that's not possible, but I worry that if he would hide it from me, what else would he hide? Maybe I am the horrible cheater, but he's not some perfect angel, and it frustrates me when he acts like he is.

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get it out.

"I hate days like this, when it rains and rains, it rains and rains"

Tags: cheating, homework, pierce, trouble

Writer's Block: Last supper

: soostentatious; November 3rd, 11:18

Current Location:: CSU Library

Current Music:: Marvelous Things -Eisley

If you had one night left to live, what would you do? Would you prefer to spend your final night with a loved one or alone? What would you choose for your last meal?

View 1153 Answers

I would want to go to my grandparents house and have either taco night or pizza night with everyone and just hang around for a while. I would want to tell everyone things I was sorry for doing, or anything other "last words" I needed to get out. Then I would want to go and lay outside in the yard and watch the stars. I guess I would probably do a lot of praying as well.

Tags: grandparents, last meal, last supper, writer's block

Writer's Block: Relive in the moment

: soostentatious; November 2nd, 19:37

Current Location:: Dorm

Current Mood:: contemplative

Current Music:: Lyrical Lies- Cute is what we aim for

If you could relive one hour of your life so far, what would you choose and why? Would you do or say anything different? How do you think it would change your life?

View 1014 Answers

If I could relive any moment I never would have started lying to him. It just turned into a huge snowball I don't think that we will ever be able to escape. It still hurts today, and he'll never forgive me.

Tags: cheating, lying, relive, second chance, writer's block

This weekend.

: soostentatious; November 2nd, 16:36

Current Location:: Dorm

Current Mood:: drained

Current Music:: Mika

All went well. I attended a family and it was nice, a little sad at times, but still nice. Now I'm behind on homework, and I lack motivation to start anything. I think Pierce wants to kill me, and I honestly don't blame him. I would do the same if the situation was in reverse. Its sad how good fun can turn into something so serious. Word to the wise: Don't go snooping around for something you really don't want to find.

I went to get some Popeyes from the student food court, and some guy spilled juice all over me. :(

I needed to start on homework like three hours ago, but I guess that's not happening.

New Chapter

: soostentatious; October 21st, 0:30

Current Location:: Dorm

Current Mood:: accomplished

I added another chapter to my Ashewara story. It's going pretty well so far, I guess. That's the only problem with fiction press at times, no one really reviews unless you are super established. At least I can force Pierce into being my beta editor. I really want things to move a long faster, but I have to keep slowing myself down since it's impractical to think that one day they could meet, pick up a book, figure out portals and go to another world, so things are slow now. Enjoy!

<3 KL

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2730236/5/

Tags: fictionpress, writing

It's been a while.

: soostentatious; October 20th, 14:43

Current Location:: School

Current Mood:: indifferent

Current Music:: Mika - Any Other World

Hello LJ,

How have you been over my two year absence? I must admit that I tried other blog sites, but I have figured out that you are the one for me. I promise to make this my main blog from now on. I am truly sorry.

<3 KL

Tags: livejournal

My new favorite authors:

: soostentatious; June 21st, 2007

My new favorite authors:

~Eoin Colfer

~Garth Nix

~Darren Shan

I've known about these guys but I've been re-reading all of their work and they are amazing authors. Especially for males from 12-17, which I know I am not but still you don't find many author's that really write for that age and gender bracket. Most 12-17 age books are for girls.

Random Thought

: soostentatious; June 14th, 2007

*Random Thought*

I love how when you sign into LJ there is a box that says " You only have three friends....". I mean, thanks for the self-confidance there. Just saying...

(no subject)

: soostentatious; June 14th, 2007

AHHHH!!!!!
Summer vacation makes me stir crazy. I have gone to the library three times sinve we got out of school and to the grocery store as well as other odd errands just to get out of the house. My family has already started driving each other crazy, and we've on;y been out of school for two and a half weeks. One of those weeks having been spent at the beach.
I did read a new book however. It was really good. Touch of Evil by....someone. I already returned it. Now I am working on the Cirque du Freak by D. Shan. It sounds super good and it was rec. by a good friend.

<3 KL

(no subject)

: soostentatious; May 28th, 2007

Current Location:: Home

Current Music:: Clair de Lune - Debussy

It always sucks to go and spend an extended period of time around people that you used to look up to and see the flaws in their personalities. I'm not claiming to be perfect nor do I expect anyone else to be, but when your in a position where people expect you to act in a christian manner, being obnoxiously rude is not the answer. Especially when it had mannefested in your son.

(no subject)

: soostentatious; May 12th, 2007

Current Mood:: hopeful

Well it's two weeks before the end of my sophmore year and already things seem to be changing. I really think I'm hitting that stage in my life where I'm becomming my own person, you know? Maybe it's just that I'm super excited about my new haircut (12 inches! and I donated to locks of love), but I really feel more grown up. I consider this the first day of the 'new' me.

Words that describe me....

: soostentatious; April 24th, 2007

Current Mood:: artistic

Current Music:: Harry and the Potters- Save Ginny Weasly

I was in Spanish today helping this kid with his english homework(haha..sorry, I just realized that) and it was a a self evaluation thing and you had to think of five words that fully described your personality. Here's mine:

Uninhibited

Classy/ Lady

Ostentatious

Arts-y

Avant-Garde

(no subject)

: soostentatious; April 20th, 2007

Wow, what a week it has been. All sorts of crazy stuff going on. I am so happy the weekend is finally here. I am going to read and lay around and watch videos on youtube. I might even work on my novel some.

<3 KL

(no subject)

: soostentatious; April 9th, 2007

Watched Blood Ties last night. It was so amazing!

( My Review (Spoilers Inside) )

<3 KL

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soostentatious

...sparkles and sunshine

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